I've already explained in the post about Facebook Likes the mentality behind how I populate those lists, so now to expand on that further into the digital realm, but also into the physical.
My Facebook profile picture has been the same since 29th January 2012. Since then, I've changed glasses, hairstyle, fashion, grown up, and got somewhat of a beard - it's safe to say then that the profile picture isn't really representative of me anymore. Why haven't I updated it? Two reasons:
- I'm very self conscious, and don't think I'm photogenic. I think I look ok in a mirror, but not in actuality. I also don't visibly smile much, and certainly not on camera. Therefore a passable photo of me is a rarity.
- The amount of time the current one has been my profile picture has created a sort of expectation in my mind, that any profile picture to follow must be so 'good' that it too could potentially serve for over two years.
One day, I hope to update my profile picture, but today is not that day. I know it's all in my head, but that's the way my mind works. I overthink everything.
Moving on to other digital decorations, I like to use things that not only I like, but at the very least prompt an apathetic response from others. My desktop wallpaper and phone wallpaper are the same because it's a nice pattern and saved me the effort of finding something else, the user icon on my Windows desktop is the default flower because I couldn't be bothered to choose something else, and the one on my MacBook is a baseball (because I like baseball) from the default selection. In the world of semiotics, these, while being icons, are also indexes. They don't explicitly say "I couldn't be bothered to change it from the default" or "look at the apathy behind this - it mirrors my mentality, where I say very little so as to avoid creating positive or negative impressions on others", but it can be inferred without much difficulty or analysis.
I'm not saying that I'm apathetic either, I just create that impression. When it comes to decisions and views, I stand by my beliefs, which are rarely on the fence.
Anyway, from Facebook likes to wallpapers, you can get an idea of who I am. For wallpapers on my MacBook, I have the following:
The first is a photo of Paris from Wikimedia with the twelve jewels overlaid, the second is a slightly mood-lifting juxtaposition, and the third is from my favorite currently airing TV show. These alone have connotations about my personality and priorities. As 'decorated' as I keep my online space, albeit with an outdated photographic representation of myself, it cannot compare to the physical realm. While my room in the university halls doesn't feel like home (nowhere does), I've populated it with many staples of my identity.
In the first image is the large pinboard on the wall, on which I have two limited edition lithographs from a game I have fond memories of and a smaller lithograph from a disappointing game, the twelve jewels (again), a platinum disc for what is one of my all time favorite albums, a Giclée print of my favorite piece of art, and steelbooks for three films I like.
In the second image, the wall above the bed is populated with five posters for some of my favorite films. In the final image is a plethora of belongings. Ranging from and old camera, DVDs, collectibles, games, packaging, a cap for the baseball team I support, and an array of books, yet further assumptions about my personality and tastes could be drawn.
Once again with semiotics, the presence of these physical items tells more of a story than my Facebook likes does. Most of the items in the first two pictures cost small fortunes, but that emphasizes how much they mean to me. That I would dedicate wall space and money to those five films suggests I like them more than just a bit, and the framed disc and painting are equally emphatic statements.
As much as I do overthink things, and there's that saying about "not worrying about if others are thinking about you as they likely aren't", I can't help but try to create a representative image of myself. First impressions can count, as can subliminal impressions. If someone came into my room, just from the decorations they can garner, at the very least, my tastes.
I don't think a neutral impression is possible. My room is cluttered, and gives away my personality. If it were completely empty, that wouldn't suggest neutrality, it would suggest either minimalism or insanity. As with myself, as neutral and passive as I may seem, I'm clearly not. Everyone makes assumptions, judgements, and conclusions.